On "Do’s and Don’t’s"

Do’s and Don’ts of Office Romance

This headline has been on cnn.com since this morning.

I’m always surprised when I see errors in stories on cnn.com and people.com, and even after hours pass, they’re not corrected.

No matter what you think about using an apostrophe or not, whether you believe that Halle Berry is known for her fashion “dos” or fashion “do’s” (she ALWAYS gets it right!), you have to admit that the sentence is wrong because only one uses an apostrophe before the S.

I’ve been looking it up everywhere, trying to find a few sources, but I can’t find much information out there.

According to Lynne Truss, author of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, you should include the apostrophes.

According to the AP Stylebook, you should not.

I have no idea which one is right.

I’m a bit wary to trust Lynne Truss because she’s British and many of the rules that she describes in the book are only used in British English (using punctuation outside quotation marks, for example).

Also, I’m a bit wary to trust the AP, because while I use that as my usual guide, I know that they follow some weird rules and it’s not the be-all and end-all.

Let’s consider this part one of a series.

Let’s consider whether or not to use the apostrophe.

Points of consideration:

–single letters get an apostrophe for the plural; double letters or acronyms do not
–if using multiple instances of words (he used too many “ums” in his speech), an apostrophe is not used

What do you think?

Do NOT call him Smokey the Bear!

I have to admit that I’ve been having a tough time finding original ideas lately. I started leafing through my AP Stylebook to find definitions for unusual words, and then I saw something that blew my mind!

Smokey Or Smokey Bear.
Not Smokey the Bear.
But: A smoky room.

Evidently, we’re not allowed to call him Smokey the Bear!

What’s up with that?

It’s always been Smokey the Bear to me. When I was in high school, one of my friends took the screenname “smokeythebear1″ to harrass guys in our class. (We were fun.)

I find it astonishing that the AP feels the need to clarify that issue.

I have to warn you again…that I will not be posting tomorrow. Once you hear why, you will surely forgive me based on the sheer awesomeness of what I’m doing.

I’m going to Donnie Wahlberg’s birthday party.

The New Kid on the Block. The one who played the crazy guy at the beginning of The Sixth Sense. The one who burned down that house back in the 90s. Donnie was always the crazy one.

I love living in Boston.

(Let’s hope that his little brother Marky Mark is there! After meeting Vanilla Ice last March, I’m collecting all the early 90s hunks!)

Jail vs. Prison

I have something to admit: until recently, I used the terms “jail” and “prison” interchangeably. After all, that’s the place where you go when you commit a crime until you pay your debt to society.

These days, it’s much less ambiguous, especially with the bad girl trio of Paris, Nicole and Lindsay having faced/currently facing JAIL time.

Jail is where you go when you’re only in custody for a short time for a misdemeanor or other small offense. Prison is where you serve a much longer sentence for a much more serious crime.

According to the AP:

Prison is a generic term that may be applied to the maximum security institutions or reformatories. All such facilities confine people serving sentences for felonies.

A jail is a facility normally used to confine people serving sentences for misdemeanors, persons awaiting trial or sentencing on either felony or misdemeanor charges, and persons confined for civil matters such as failure to pay alimony and other types of contempt of court.

There you have it.

To think that all along I thought that Paris had been in PRISON! Not so.

Ah, a girl can dream.

Worst Spelling Errors

I saw the word “definately” again today and it nearly made me explode.

That is my most hated spelling error.

I think I’m inspired to create a list of my top five — or bottom five, or PH list, if you will.

Here they are:

1) Definately

2) Alot

3) Loose (instead of lose)

4) Everytime

5) Wierd

Have you any others?

Grammar Errors at the Movies

Reader Derek (dlipkin) sent me some gems from the movies. While most people watch that movie trivia, yelling out answers, Derek took pictures of the ones with grammatical errors for the blog.

You never told me which movie you saw! I saw Superbad last night — it was great.

The pictures are kind of dark, so click on them to see the full details.

Add a few commas!

It is whose, not who’s, and for the love of God, get rid of those quotation marks!

The question marks are a bit under control.

Apparently when “the Spider-Man” was filmed, most of the filming took place inside an oversized fruit.

That colon is highly unnecessary.

“The group finds themselves?” That hurts.

Danny Devito-their is, of course, one of the great actors of our time.

I have never seen a movie theater with slides quite like these. This chain must be California-based, or maybe I just don’t go to a theater who has them.

Come on, though. Get an editor!

These are great. Thanks, Derek.

Would you trust this business?

Imagine that you run a large marketing firm and you’re looking to hire a freelance copywriter for occasional projects.

You do research, you weed through the ads on Craigslist and you compile a list of contendors.

Now, imagine this:

One copywriting business is called “The ORIGINAL Koncept & Kopy Overload.”

Would you trust this business’s credibility?

Copywriting is a business that demands accuracy of the written word. Businesses often change the spelling or word choice to reflect a clever play on words or a double entendre. However, in this case, changing the C’s to K’s adds no value to the name. (Neither does capitalizing the word original.) It may be an attempt to be cute — but is cuteness a quality for which ones looks when hiring a copywriter?

Because of this, I do not trust the company’s credibility. The company may, in fact, do excellent work, but I wouldn’t go any further than glancing over the name.

It would be different if it were a restaurant or a household product. The fact that it’s a copywriting business — again, a business that demands accuracy of the written word — makes me wary to go near it.

I contacted the business.

I would like to hear your opinions before I post anything further.

In quarantine….

Sorry for the lapse on posts again. I woke up today with one of the worst sore throats in my life (though thankfully not as bad as the time I had mono) and I took a sick day from work (still working Saturdays) and quarantined myself in my apartment.

In other news, my friend Lisa and I went to Union in the South End and absolutely loved it, from the great food to the exciting atmosphere to our awesome (and gorgeous) waiter, who pointed out everywhere Tom Brady has sat (it’s his favorite restaurant). The only bad part was seeing an ex of mine….the one who foolishly moved to Boston after dating me for only three months….sitting on the other side of the room.

For all you Bostonians, you should try to get there — they’re continuing Restaurant Week through the end of the month, as are Pigalle, Upstairs on the Square and several other restaurants.

Clarification on "In Tow"

I saw this story a few weeks ago on People.com, then forgot about it, thought it was on TMZ.com, searched relentlessly and finally found it.

Readers may disagree on this one.

From Nicole Richie and Joel Madden: Engaged?

The pair, along with entourage in tow, popped into Nathans of Georgetown restaurant for a late lunch before making their way to the upscale Georgetown baby boutique Dawn Price Baby.

First of all, if you look back to Grammar Errors in Our Nation’s Capital, you will see my picture of the name plate at Nathans in Georgetown, chastising its pointless lack of an apostrophe. (Seriously, does the restaurant gain anything from not including the apostrophe? Barneys New York, take note!)

However, after seeing this story, I realized that I had a problem with the writer, Arnesa A. Howell, and her usage of the phrase along with entourage in tow.

Ideally, I would have used entourage in tow.

Easily, one also could have used along with their entourage.

But when one uses along with entourage in tow, it’s perfectly redundant. It’s unnecessary.

It hurts my head.

Grammar Thievery

I received an email from reader Brian telling me about an error on posters at MIT. (I love the errors at the top universities in the U.S.! Just wait until you see the errors I saw in Harvard Square the other day!)

Brian took his action one step further and actually stole stuff (so he could scan them and send them to me).

Here is his email to me:

Hi again Kate,

You have inspired me!

I’ve been working at MIT for the past few weeks and lately I’ve seen these signs all over the place advertising a plant sale. You can see the problem in the before photo, and what I have done to some of them with a black magic marker in the after. Since I don’t have a camera, I stole one of them (there were two right next to each other at this location) so that I could show you my handiwork.

You may vandalize, but I steal in the name of good grammar. Which of your readers will be the first to kill?

BRIAN

The error lies in the line that reads, Come to one or both plant sale to pick your favorite plant! Click on the picture to see a close-up.

Most excellent. Go on and show those MIT students how to write!

Thanks, Brian.

This is BEAUTIFUL.

I saw this on Ticketmaster the other day, and it made me delirious with happiness.

The Final Year

Fewer than 50 performances left! Don’t miss Celine Dion in Vegas!

Beautiful.

BEAUTIFUL.

In a land where virtually every grocery store seems to have a lane for “12 items or LESS,” it’s a rare treat to see the word fewer used correctly.

Ticketmaster, I applaud you!

Now, if only the Brood can get to Vegas before Celine’s show ends….

Worst Grammar Offenses in Pop Culture

I was perusing the discussion boards on the “Good Grammar Is Hot” group on Facebook, and I came across a discussion of the worst grammar offenses in pop culture.

Here are some of them:

John G:

Okay, mine is from Justin Timberlake’s song “what goes around.” He actually
says, “my heart BLEEDED, girl”

Well, there aren’t too many words that rhyme with cheated. Did I mention that I swore up and down that I thought I saw him driving through Powderhouse Circle the other night when he was in town?

Joaquina G:

How about the song “the way I are”

Alexa already brought that up! Timbaland doesn’t even sing that line anywhere in the song! It’s just the title!

Caleb T:

“How you doing?” ……………..stupid Joey

Heh.

Marc Z:

That rap tune that goes “is you is or is you ain’t” is pretty bad. Also, The Doors song, Touch Me, features the lyric:
“I’m gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky
For you and I”
Which has always bothered me.

I cannot STAND it when people use I instead of me. The people who do this tend to emphasize the I, and many probably think that they’re being intelligent, speaking better than anyone. Well, all of you know that they’re wrong.

Ellen A:

Does anyone else hate Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry?”
“I’m not gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket.”
It grates, and I have to change the station until the song is over.

I completely agree. This line of the song bugs me SO much! It ruins the song for me, and the song isn’t even that great. (I think Fergie should stick to the crazy/strange dance numbers.)

Abigail B:

backstreet boys “all i have to give”
“does his friends get all your time?” and “does his gifts come from the heart?”
gee, i DOESN’T know… DOES THEY??

This is for the Brood, my best friends from home. We used to make music videos to this song and “I Want It That Way.”

Yoni B:

In a rap song (the rapper’s name eludes me at the moment):’Do your chain hang low? Do it wobble to the floor(read “flo”)? Do it shine in the light? Is it platinum, is it gold?’He’s managed to rhyme ‘low’ with ‘floor’ and ‘gold.’ Quite the feat.

I detest this song.

Kandi R:

John Cougar Mellencamp, “Small Town”. I’m a Hoosier from a small town myself, and I love the song, and I love the Coug, but one of the lines is: “and I cannot forget from where it is that I come from”.

Oh, God. Beyond redundant.

I’m not going to comment on the specific writing of these Facebook posters.

Why not?

I’m here to talk about grammar errors made by companies, businesses, groups and institutions with the financial means to afford an editor. I don’t go after individuals unless the errors are jaw-droppingly egregious, and I don’t turn up my nose at every email I receive. (So many of you write to tell me that you’re afraid of what I’ll say about your writing — relax!!)

That being said, however, I am a bit surprised that some of the people in a group called “Good Grammar Is Hot” have no qualms about posting a sentence full of errors.

That is all.

It’s late and I have to be at work in just over nine hours….I only got home from work an hour ago. OH, NO!! I just realized that I missed Barack Obama on The Daily Show!!

I have some plans for tomorrow night — I’m going out to Union with my friend Lisa, as they still have their Restaurant Week menu (for more on Restaurant Week, visit Kate’s Adventures) — and then we may try to visit the Beehive or just do our usual Hong Kong thing. Either way, I won’t be posting tomorrow night.

Have a great few days!

The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation

After my interview on NPR, I received a message from Jane Straus, a popular grammar writer and author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation. I hadn’t heard of the book before, but I was so glad to learn about it!

The book is excellent. It’s part tutorial and part workbook. The rules are explained really well and the voice is lovely. I’ve got a copy of my own!

Jane has a great grammar Web site, grammarbook.com. She features much content from the book, in addition to grammar quizzes, Youtubes and a blog of her own.

If there’s anything in particular that you should check out on the site, it’s the newsletter. I highly recommend subscribing.

Also, the next edition will feature an endorsement from me on the back cover!

Check it out. I’m so glad that I met Jane. She’s my Californian counterpart, and she knows her stuff!

This needs burned.

I have a friend who was casually talking and then murmured, “This needs burned.”

My other friends and I have never let her forget it.

She meant to say, “This needs to be burned.” So, why omit the letters?

The strangest thing about the phrase is that I have never heard anyone else use that grammar. Keep in mind that while I’ve traveled a good amount, most of my U.S. travel was when I was young, and I’ve only lived in the northeast. It may have come from the relatives on her mother’s side of the family, who live in Texas.

Is it a southern thing? Have you ever heard people saying, “The gas tank needs filled,” or perhaps, “The kids need dressed nicely,” at any given moment?

It’s one of the phrases that just comes from nowhere.

Now that I think about it, I can’t remember the thing that needed to be burned in the first place. What needs to be burned? A pirate map?

Sundown on Grammar

Location: Idaho Falls, Idaho

This submission is from reader Bryan, who is very thankful that he doesn’t live in in Idaho Falls, Idaho!

Idaho is one of the states that I’m least likely to visit. Considering that I never ski, I can’t really think of a reason to go there — but Idaho residents and Idaho-files, if there’s something amazing in Idaho that I’m missing, please let me know!

I have the feeling that people would argue the following points:

1) The apostrophe is used to replace missing letters.

2) The apostrophe is used with plurals.

3) The apostrophe is used with acronyms or abbreviations.

NO, NO, NO. There should be NO apostrophe there whatsoever!

Get a room! (I just felt like saying that.)

Thanks, Bryan.

ATGV: "Hip Hop" or "Hip-Hop"?

I received the following question from a beloved reader:

Hi, Grammar Vandal,

First, let me say that I’m delighted to share the same city with you. Of any city in the US, Boston should be putting its best linguistic foot forward. And when it doesn’t, it deserves a little corrective vandalism.

So, here’s my question: “Hip Hop” – I know that it is currently correct to use it both withand without a hyphen, but what about when it’s a modifier? Does it behave like any other compound? E.g., he was well known vs. he was a well-known person. So, “I’ve been doing hip hop for a decade now…”vs “The hip-hop scene has changed a lot since Tupac was shot.”

Actually, I guess we could pose the question of capitalization aswell, although since rock, disco and reggae don’t get special capitalization status as a music genre, I don’t think hip hop should either.

Any thoughts or suggested web references? I have the Chicago Manual of Style, AP Style Guide and US Govt Manual of Style on hand here as physical resources but none of them seem to care much about hip hop.

Many thanks for your advice!

MollyMac in Brookline

You know, I thought that this would be so easy. I thought that all it would take would be a few quick searches to find an answer. Not so much.

Like MollyMac said, neither hip hop nor hip-hop are listed in any of the aformentioned guides. Because of this, I’m going to do a survey of modern music information sources and tally what they use.

Here we go:

Hip Hop: NONE!

Hip-Hop:
–iTunes
–Amazon.com
–Billboard
–Rolling Stone
–Blender

Both:
–Wikipedia
–Vibe

To add in a few literary sources, I checked out the American Heritage Dictionary and Random House Unabridged Dictionary. Both use hip-hop.

MollyMac, I think you have your answer! This is pretty interesting. I always preferred to use hip-hop, and I’m glad that it’s the default of so many major music sources.

Thanks, MollyMac. I particularly love the comma you used after “Hi.”