How you like them apples?

Reader Courtney sent me this gem:

Location: Clifton Park, New York

With all the genetically enhanced produce out there, you have to make sure that you’re getting the real deal!

Thanks, Courtney — and thanks to Courtney’s husband, the photographer!

I’m watching this right now:

Does the missing comma bother anyone?

As a grammarian, it bothers me a LOT. After all, this is money that is both dirty and sexy, not sexy money that also happens to be dirty. That necessitates the comma.

As a person, and as someone who technically works in “marketing,” it actually doesn’t bother me as much. Incorrect as it is, it adds a certain boldness to it. BOOM BOOM BOOM. Dirty Sexy Money. The comma would have taken away some of the impact….

….even though it is WRONG to leave it out in the first place!

I’m in a bit of a Jekyll/Hyde mood tonight.

This is a good show.

ATGV: Single or Plural?

Good morning, Kate. I am reviewing a document for a co-worker and need some help with a sentence.

Tailgating, as well as making rude gestures, passing on the shoulder, pulling into a parking space someone else is waiting for, and failing to yield to merging traffic, is considered an example of an aggressive act.

or

Tailgating, as well as making rude gestures, passing on the shoulder, pulling into a parking space someone else is waiting for, and failing to yield to merging traffic, are considered examples of aggressive acts.

Which is correct? I have checked several resources and haven’t found an example that is similar.

Julia

Wow. I’ve been saying these to myself since this afternoon, and they both sound wrong to me.

Perhaps it’s because whenever I use the phrase as well as, I usually have plurals on either side. The Danes as well as the Swedes dwell in countries that I hope to visit extremely soon. It doesn’t sound perfect, but it’s functional.

If I were writing this, Julia, I would strike as well as and change it to in addition to. This would make tailgating the focus of the sentence.

Tailgating, in addition to making rude gestures, passing on the shoulder, pulling into a parking space someone else is waiting for, and failing to yield to merging traffic, is considered an example of an aggressive act.

You know what? I think I like it better with dashes.

Tailgating — in addition to making rude gestures, passing on the shoulder, pulling into a parking space someone else is waiting for, and failing to yield to merging traffic — is considered an example of an aggressive act.

There we go.

BUFFALO!!!!!

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Believe it or not, that sentence is grammatically correct.

Blog reader Niles sent this to me. Nothing has delighted me so much in quite some time. It even has its own Wikipedia page!

The word buffalo has three meanings:

1) the animal

2) the city in New York

3) to bully, confuse or bamboozle

Let’s take a look at the sentence again:

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Let’s add in some words to clarify:

Buffalo buffalo whom Buffalo buffalo buffalo also, in turn, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Let’s look at it again, changing the word to bison when it means the animal.

Buffalo bison Buffalo bison buffalo buffalo Buffalo bison.

Now, let’s modify that, changing the word to bully when it’s used as a verb.

Buffalo bison Buffalo bison bully bully Buffalo bison.


Finally, let’s add the words back in:

Buffalo bison whom Buffalo bison bully also, in turn, bully Buffalo bison.


And edited for style:

The bison from Buffalo who are bullied and/or bamboozled by other bison from Buffalo, strangely, bully and/or bamboozle bison from Buffalo as well.


This is the coolest thing ever!

Did you like it?

Thanks, Niles.

Gripe of the Day

While in Starbucks today, I came across the following album:As if country music didn’t have enough grammatical errors already.

I bet this album was marketed by the same people who did the “RUN EASY BOSTON” Reebok ads.

NPR Clarification

There are a few things that I didn’t get to discuss on the broadcast. Before I forget them, here they are:

–I do think that it’s a good idea to remove the hyphens in fig-leaf, make-over, leap-frog and pigeon-hole. I never use hyphens in any of these words.

–However, I think that the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary’s reasoning is off. They say they removed the hyphens due to internet culture and the fact that most people can’t be bothered to type the hyphens.

I find that to be extremely dangerous.

If we start giving in to the abbreviated style of internet culture, what will stop us from adding “newayz” and “u” to dictionaries?

We cannot give in.

Give in because language has naturally evolved. Even before the internet, hyphens weren’t commonplace in the aforementioned words.

–Also, though I’m an AP Style girl at heart, I don’t use the word e-mail. I think that we’re at the point where we no longer need the e and hyphen to clarify that this is mail sent electronically. Email has stood the test of time.

–Also, halfway through the broadcast, I caught myself in a “you know.” AHHHH!!!! After that, I tried to speak better than last time, using fewer “you knows” and “likes.” I have a feeling that I sucked at that. I also ended at least one sentence with a preposition.

Also, I was completely caught off guard when she asked me about words that used to use hyphens but no longer do besides today and tomorrow. I had seconds to think of a response and couldn’t think of anything! (Now I know that goodbye would have worked.)

What do you think?

Please be kinder than last time. Writing is easy — speaking with perfect grammar while on live radio is hard!

Greetings, NPR fans!

I haven’t done the interview yet, but I’d like for there to be an entry welcoming you.

I hope you enjoy the blog!

If you have any errors to submit, please email me at kate [dot] mcculley [at] gmail [dot] com.

Also, I run a freelance editing and educational consulting business. (Strangely enough, I have yet to blog about it, though I do receive a good amount of freelance work!)

Need anything edited? From business writing and presentations to academic papers and college application essays to advertising and newsletters, I do it all.

My rates are quite low and I guarantee that no other editor will do a better job.

Again, welcome to the blog! I hope you enjoy your visit.

Another NPR Appearance!

I have been asked to return to NPR! I will be making my first appearance since my interview in July!

The interview will take place tomorrow, Monday, September 23, 2007, around 7:40 AM. It’s for a new program called the Bryant Park Project. It’s a brand new show that is in previews right now. Check it out here.

Tomorrow’s show is about the Oxford English Dictionary’s decision to remove hyphens from several words.

Small object of grammatical desire

It’s small. It’s flat. It’s black. And according to the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, its numbers are shrinking. Welcome to the world of the hyphen.

Having been around since at least the birth of printing, the hyphen is apparently enjoying a difficult time at the moment.

The sixth edition of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary has knocked the hyphens out of 16,000 words, many of them two-word compound nouns. Fig-leaf is now fig leaf, pot-belly is now pot belly, pigeon-hole has finally achieved one word status as pigeonhole and leap-frog is feeling whole again as leapfrog.

The blame, as is so often the case, has been put at least in part on electronic communication. In our time-poor lifestyles, dominated by the dashed-off [or should that be dashed off or dashedoff] e-mail, we no longer have time to reach over to the hyphen key.

Read the full story here.

What’s my opinion?

Tune in to find out! I think the show is only airing in New York, but you can listen online at npr.org.

Amusing Courtroom Transcripts

I got these from this site. There’s some great stuff!

From actual courtroom transcripts:

–And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral, okay? What school do you go to?
–Oral.
–How old are you?
–Oral.

–Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

–She had three children, right?
–Yes.
–How many were boys?
–None.
–Were there girls?

–So you were gone until you returned?

–The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

–I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
–That’s me.
–Were you present when that picture was taken?

Luck of the Irish

Is that all there is?

Happy “Halfway to St. Paddy’s Day,” everyone! If you’re in Boston, there’s a big party at McFadden’s tomorrow night. I’ll either be there or down the street at the Hong Kong.

Prepay First

From reader Nora:

I was horrified as I got gas at the Irving station in Amesbury today…

After I prepay inside first, I’m going to find my keys and stop looking for them. Then I’ll Google my crushes on the Internet.

You have no idea how hard it is to write something intentionally redundant.

Taser — capitalize it!

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A University of Florida student was Tasered and arrested Monday when he attempted to speak at a forum with U.S. Sen. John Kerry during a question and answer session, university officials said….

….While as many as four police officers tried to remove Meyer from the forum, he yelled for help and asked “What did I do?” Minutes after Meyer started speaking, he was Tasered.

Source

Until tonight, I did not know that it was necessary to capitalize the word Taser.

(For the record, I only went on Fox News because it’s the only news outlet reporting that Britney is going to lose custody of her kids tomorrow.)

There are so many words that we say all the time and often don’t realize need to be capitalized — like Band-Aids, for example. In fact, there was recently a lawsuit over the use of the term “Flexi-Wings” on feminine products. It turns out it’s trademarked, like many other seemingly innocuous phrases (including GRAMMAR VANDAL).

It turns out that Taser is not merely a type of weapon, as I believed, but a specific trademarked weapon that must be capitalized at all times. I can understand that for a noun, but when it’s being used as a verb, it just looks strange!

As for the content of the story itself, I’m shocked that it had to come to Tasering an unarmed person, and I have the feeling that the whole story isn’t being reported. (It never said that he attacked any of the officers or did anything more than refusing to stop speaking, though it did say he was charged with resisting arrest.) Why couldn’t they have just cuffed him or even slammed him to the ground?

On the cover of a magazine

I was directed to this Sports Illustrated cover by faithful reader Lee. He has a Ph.D.

Check it out:

I’m feeling the urge to make a dumb jock joke, even though most of my athletic friends are quite intelligent as well.

It should be all-time, not alltime. It’s the cover! It’s huge! It’s creamy white against a background of so many colors!

Hire an editor.

Thanks, Lee.

Still evolving!

This reminds me of the episode of Pinky and the Brain when Brain goes on Jeopardy and they keep calling him Brian.

If you begin the article, you’ll realize that the headline, in fact, should read, “Human brain still evolving, scientists say.” There were several scientists in the study!

Miss Conduct on Correcting Grammar

I’m a huge fan of Miss Conduct, a Cambridge-based psychologist who writes an etiquette column in the Boston Globe Magazine each week. She’s much more realistic than Miss Manners (whom I believe tries too hard to be concisely witty, thus often shortchanging her readers). I was looking through the archives and came across this gem from the August 5th issue:

Recently I was talking with a friend about another friend’s sickness and said I felt “badly” for my sick friend’s family. The friend I was conversing with interrupted me and said I should have said I felt “bad” for the family. I don’t dispute my grammar slip, but was it rude of my friend to interject an admonishment about my grammar in the middle of such a serious conversation? I’ve often wondered what the etiquette is for correcting others’ grammar. I feel that it is rude to do this, but I know many people who seem to believe it is not only appropriate, but their duty.
E.R. in Stoneham

And they’re wrong. The etiquette for correcting another person’s grammar is that you don’t, not unless you have blanket permission and a compelling reason to do so. Even then, never interrupt a train of thought or a serious conversation. The English language has been around for 600 years in its present form, give or take a century, depending on which linguistic historian you ask, and is the dominant language worldwide for business, science, and politics. It is, in short, sturdier than the average friendship and in need of less coddling.

Some people correct others’ grammar more out of unthinking habit than out of a deep protective instinct toward the mother tongue. It’s a verbal tic with them, as swearing or automatically making wisecracks is for other people. As with these other peccadilloes, ignore it if it doesn’t bother you, and if it does, gently register an objection.

The most interesting part about this piece, I find, is that badly, in fact, is the correct term. E.R. was grammatically correct when she said that she felt badly. That reminds me of people who overuse “and I” when they should be saying “and me” half the time!

I agree with Miss Conduct that it’s not worth sweating the small stuff when it comes to an issue like this, and correcting grammar is a peccadillo much like swearing for someone else.

When she mentions that the language is sturdy and needs to coddling, it can be argued that Miss Conduct thinks that one can get away with improper grammar as long as the point gets across. Personally, I don’t think that’s what she meant.

My own opinion is that if it’s personal conversation, to let it slide. I don’t use perfect grammar in my speech at all times. However, if this is professional writing, writing that was examined in depth, writing that could have easily been edited, you have a right to complain about it!