I’m Super! Thanks for asking!

Okay — your responses cracked me up.

If you would like to hear the original version of Big Gay Al’s “I’m Super” from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, check out this video.  (I couldn’t find the original film clip on YouTube, so this is the next best thing.)  Fast-forward to 0:25 if you want to hear the line.

I did say that I would announce a winner, so here goes:

“Everything is super when you — don’t you think I look cute in this hat?”

Big Gay Al, in the heat of the moment, gets interrupted by his thoughts mid-sentence, leading to an entirely different outburst.

I’ll give props to the winners, Ryan and Alexa, who echoed my thoughts exactly.

Ryan writes Megorious, which is a really great blog, filled with politics, movies, amusing incidents and the like.  He is also the second person ever to successfully RickRoll me.

I’ll be honest about Alexa’s blog, Alexa Shrugged.  I do like it — except for the political parts, which is to be expected, as we have very different political views.  Though her blog has mostly been about politics lately, I love her entries featuring Overheard in New York quotes and updates on Knut the bear.

I also have to admit that after listening to the song, it looks like I got a word wrong.  The actual words are, “Everything is super when you’re — don’t you think I look cute in this hat?”

That may have impacted some of the entries.

Well, either way, I hope you enjoy the song in the clip!

Punctuation Contest!

I have an idea.  I’ve had Big Gay Al’s “I’m Super” (from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut) stuck in my head all day, so I’d like to do something with it on the blog.

I’d like to see if you can do the impossible — perfectly punctuate an insanely written sentence, while keeping it one sentence.  No cheating!

Here it is:

“Everything is super when you don’t you think I look cute in this hat”

How would YOU do it?

I’m trying to think of a prize I can offer…the only thing I can think of is plugging your blog and getting you into any club in Las Vegas.

Furthermore, where did B.G.A. get his matching tie?  I always thought it was Bob’s, though some of the lyrics online say Vogue and some say Merv’s.

Happy punctuating — and to my fellow Yanks, have a great Memorial Day weekend!

One of these days….

When I originally switched to WordPress, one of my goals was to start blogging ahead of time, so I could write a post on Tuesday night and have it posted on Thursday at around 10:30 PM, around the time when I usually post.  That’s because I usually go out on Thursdays.

I don’t think there will be too much of value in terms of posts tonight.  The photo uploader is giving me problems today, and we all know that photos are the cornerstone of this blog.

At any rate, I think it’s worth telling a story from my friend, Beth, who currently lives in Texas but is a Massachusetts native, like me, and recently spent time at home.

She stopped by the Linens-N-Things in our hometown, Reading.  She then spotted an egregious error on an advertisement.

She took a few pictures for me with her cell phone.  (Thought I’ve had my cell phone for well over two years — I’m thinking of getting an iPhone this summer once the new model comes out — I still haven’t figured out how to send picture messages to my email.)

On the advertisements for Linens-N-Things, they listed a word of which I had never heard.

Afterall.

As in, “It’s time for you to buy some dishes, afterall.”

Or, “We need to buy a rice cooker and an omelette cooker to fool all of our houseguests, afterall.”

AFTERALL is not a word, last time I checked, Linens-N-Things.

How could you be so ignorant?

Is nobody checking your work?

Come on, now.  It’s not that hard to run spellcheck.  Hell, if you ran this advertisement in Microsoft Word, originally, you would have the telltale squiggly red line underneath the word!  There is no excuse for spelling the word like that.

I keep worrying…I keep thinking that my efforts are futile…

ATGV: Collective Singular Nouns

This is a really good question.  It came to me from reader Bailee?

Dear Kate,
 
There is a subject I am really hoping you could cover for me on your blog, since I’m sure you would do a better job than I would. The topic is singular collective nouns.  I am driven to the point of madness every morning when I listen to my local rock station, because the DJ insists on referring to bands whose names would be a singular collective noun in a plural sense.  For example, she recently said, “Radiohead are releasing a new album.”  Radiohead is a group, and “group” is a singular collective noun. Thus, it should be, “Radiohead is releasing a new album.” She does this all the time, and I am always thinking about writing a letter to her, but I’m sure I wouldn’t explain it very well.  However, I think you would probably do great.
 
Forgive me for any grammar errors in my email, as I’m only a novice grammar Nazi. I hope to hear from you soon.
 
Bailee

Wow.

This is tough.

Let’s start with an example.  The word band can be used as a singular collective noun.  Let’s say, for example, that you had plans to see your favorite band in concert.

1. Singular: My favorite band is in town, so I’m going to see it.
2. Plural: My favorite band are in town, so I’m going to see them.

Neither of those sound right to me, even though they seem to be grammatically correct.

I’m going to turn to the fabulous and useful Language Log.  Here is what the writers had to say on the subject:

Like most Americans, I prefer singular verb agreement for collective nouns like family and committee, unless the meaning of the phrase emphasizes semantic multiplicity, as in “My family all live in North America”. When the meaning is neutral or emphasizes unity, I strongly prefer the singular: “My family is gathering in Philadelphia for Thanksgiving”. However, I can’t imagine writing or saying “#My family is gathering in Philadelphia for Thanksgiving, and I’m preparing a traditional Thanksgiving meal for it.” The problem is not that the sentence is ungrammatical, but rather that it doesn’t say what I mean. I prepare the meal for them, not for it.

So, would I say that Pink Floyd is appearing in concert?  Or that Pink Floyd are appearing in concert?

Dear lord.  I think I would say either.  WHAT does that MEAN?!?!

Click here to read the rest of the Language Log’s analysis.  Seeing all those research notes makes me shudder.  It brings back traumatic memories of the 30-page research paper I had to write for my “Understanding the Sacred in Literature” class at Fairfield.

I’ll let them handle the heavy research.

In conclusion, I think that being able to say that your favorite band is in town and you’re going to see them has become so accepted in our language that it has become reality.

As for bands, Bailee, I wish I could answer your question better.  I don’t see anything wrong with saying Radiohead are any more than Radiohead is.

For now, you might want to hold off on that letter to the station.  :-/

And, just because:

DAVID COOK!

YES!!!!!  GO, COOKIE!!!!!  This is the first time that my favorite contestant has won American Idol, so I’m very excited!!  (I haven’t had luck in the past with Clay, Constantine, Elliott and Sanjaya…shut up!!)

Thanks, Bailee.

David McCullough: AWESOME speech

Historian David McCullough was the commencement speaker at Boston College’s 2008 Graduation.  He gave a truly awesome speech that I think you all, in particular, would appreciate.

I haven’t read any of David McCullough’s books, but I saw him on The Daily Show and thought he sounded awesome.  (I’ve been meaning to read more history and fill in the gaps in my education.  Considering that I now work right by Borders, I will probably buy one.  I’m already averaging buying 1.5 books per week.)

Here is the best quote from his speech:

And please, please, do what you can to cure the verbal virus that seems increasingly rampant among your generation. I’m talking about the relentless, wearisome use of the words, “like,” and “you know,” and “awesome,” and “actually.” Listen to yourselves as you speak.

Just imagine if in his inaugural address John F. Kennedy had said, “Ask not what your country can, you know, do for you, but what you can, like, do for your country actually.”

Word, man.  Word.

Click here to read the rest of his speech.

Admit: Journalism’s Dirty Word

Okay.  Two things:

1) I am sick of people adding the suffix “-gate” to every catastrophe, disaster or scandal: most recently, Spygate (the Patriots spying on other teams or something like that; I detest football, so I’m not following the story) and Bittergate (Barack Obama’s comments on Pennsylvanians feeling bitter with George Bush).

And it becomes even more gauche in other situations.  One that sticks out in particular is Lifestylegate, which happened a few years ago on American Idol when Mandisa prefaced her gospel song with a speech about how your lifestyle shouldn’t hold you back from God, thus alienating her LGBT fans, and she had more gay fans than any other Idol to begin with (she was the big black diva!), so that wasn’t a smart move, and she got eliminated shortly after, but I have a point, I swear!  LIFESTYLEGATE?  No.  Just no.

It was called WATERGATE because that was the name of the building!  Don’t attach -gate to every scandal!

Secondly:

I’m watching the news on Fox right now.  Not Fox News — the local Boston affiliate (mostly because I just finished watching American Idol.  Go Cookie!  Also, the battery in the remote died a few days ago and I’m too lazy to get up and turn the TV off).

Anyway:

The anchor said a sentence along this line: “He admitted his homosexuality a few years ago.”

When I took my first journalism class at Fairfield University, I was taught that you need to be extremely careful with the word admit.  This is because the word denotes guilt.  Because of this, you rarely see the word in the news.

Above all, you must never use the word admit when someone says that he or she is gay.  When you use that word, you imply that being gay is something about which one should be ashamed.  Not only does it perpetuate homophobia, it also shows editorialism on the part of a journalist.

Well, it is Fox.

How can this happen?

Have any of you studied journalism?  What is your opinion on this?

Annoyances of Lately

My power cord died last week and it has been hellish trying to do anything on my computer with a universal cord (it once took me five minutes to type out a one-paragraph message on Facebook!).  I ordered a new one.

And this is what Dell had to say:

Not totally egregious…

Not the worst thing I’ve seen in the last few days…

But…it wouldn’t kill Dell to invest in a big of punctuation.

Also, I headed to Whole Foods after work yesterday (I absolutely LOVE that it’s so easy that Whole Foods in Charles River Plaza is a short walk from my new office and right on the way home!), not expecting anything but a few bagfuls of organic fruit and some of that FANTASTIC fresh mozzarella that they have on display in the produce section.

And there came the grammar.

I saw a sign near the register that mentioned how Whole Foods does work EACH DAY to help people living with HIV/AIDS.  The sign, however, said EVERY DAY.

I was so surprised and happy.  It seems like everyone just says EVERYDAY lately.  It’s gotten to the point that when I see EVERY DAY instead of EVERYDAY, when meaning EACH DAY, I become giddy.

That shouldn’t happen!  I shouldn’t be expecting the worst!!

It was correct.  After all, it was Whole Foods.  This is the grocery store featuring more expensive and healthful food, and therefore likely attracts a highly educated clientele.

It made me happy.

And then I saw the sign on the back of the register, facing the customer:

MAY WE VALIDATE YOUR PARKING TICKET

No question mark.

Aw, and to think it was so good…

I would love to see a business free of grammatical errors.  It would be even better if it were a chain.  And who knows?  Maybe that’s one of Whole Foods’s goals.  These signs were handmade and exclusive to the Charles River Plaza store.

I’ll let you know if I find anything else.

Mightier than the Sword

This image is classic!  Check it out:

Source: Facebook, Good Grammar Is Hot group

Remember how your first grade teacher taught you to leave large enough spaces between words?  It was with incidents like this in mind.

That would be the pen is mightier than the sword, Mr. Connery.

I knew this was coming.

Well, the Stuff White People Like blog has added its 99th entry: grammar.

It turns out that, in addition to study abroad, Barack Obama, coffee, bicycles, Arrested Development, multilingual children, organic food and David Sedaris, white people like grammar.

Considering that this blog could pretty much be called Stuff Kate Likes, I absolutely knew that this was coming.

When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’  Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

And what of the people who actually correct grammar?

Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

I’m not going to lie — if I found a mistake in The New Yorker, I would experience a huge burst of emotion.  Not of pride, however — of anger.

That is DEFINITELY taking it too far.

What a crazy week!

My power cord died this week, so I bought a temporary universal cord that I will return to Best Buy within 30 days for a full refund once I get my official Dell cord.  Because I’m using a universal cord, my computer is VERY SLOW.

Combine that with a sudden lack of internet access and I am nearly hysterical.  I called my friend Lisa just to whine over the phone that I didn’t know what to do with myself.  So I watched RENT on FX and sang along absentmindedly as I played Solitaire.

Seriously, what did we do before the internet?

Great picture, huh?  Thanks to Ryan and Andy, both of whom sent me this.

I JUST got the internet back, but it’s a really slow connection from somewhere in the neighborhood.  I hope I’m able to post this tonight.

It’s been a crazy past few weeks, and I have a few announcements.

Most significantly, I quit my job.  My last day is tomorrow.  Those of you who heard my first NPR interview, you probably caught the “Well, actually…I would love to do this for a living, especially since I’m looking for a new job!” at the end of it.  That was back in July.

Job offers did pour in after the interview and the Globe feature, but they were mostly out in the suburbs.  I did a few interviews but turned the jobs down — it’s really important for me to be downtown, especially since I’m moving to the Back Bay, one of Boston’s most famous and upscale neighborhoods, this September.

(Besides that, I realized that I wouldn’t want to be a full-time editor — it would be too isolating for me.  I need to be able to exchange ideas and collaborate while at work.)

I continued searching for jobs in town, got a few more offers, and turned them down as well.  (Not going to lie — a few famous companies, including a major search engine and a presidential candidate’s company, turned me down.)  Nothing quite fit, and I wasn’t going to settle for anything.

And then I was presented with an opportunity by one of my favorite bloggers, the Missus.  We’ve been reading each other’s blogs for several months now (funnily enough, she originally read Kate’s Adventures, not this one!), and when a job popped up at her company, she told me about it.  A few weeks and interviews later, I got the job.

I’d rather not go into specific details, but I will say that the work is really interesting, the industry is huge, I’m a fan of the company’s product, the package is terrific…and it shaves about 15 minutes off my commute!

I start on Monday.  I’m very happy and excited about it.  (I’m also sad to be leaving so many fantastic colleagues at my current job.)

More posts will appear once I get my computer back to normal.  Have a great weekend!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I’ve been an avid speller since I was quite young.  Spelling was one of my favorite subjects (besides geography) when I was little, and I was thrilled to be included in the accelerated spelling program from when I was seven years old.

That being said…

I was unable to spell the word “margarita” until I was 17 years old.

The reason?

I grew up in the Boston area.

People mock the Boston accent.  Most people say that I don’t have a Boston accent, but at the same time, they’re expecting to hear Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.  Even within the region, there are several dialects of the Boston accent.  While my parents and other family members all have thick Boston accents, they’re from the North Shore — mainly Lynn and Revere.

(I often joke that every single member of my family except for my sister and me has spent time growing up in Lynn.  There are very few exceptions.  For background, Lynn was one of the few Boston-area cities allowing abortions, inspiring the rhyme, “Lynn, Lynn, city of sin, you never come out the way you went in, you ask for water, they give you gin…”)

People from Lynn and Revere don’t talk like people from Dorchester and Southie, except that they omit their R’s.  Seriously, you should come to a family gathering of mine.  And when the family members are around, the accent thickens.

(Personally, I live in the city now, but whenever I head home into the suburbs, I think that the accents kick into overdrive.  I always hear much more of a Boston accent among the older crowd on the North Shore than I do among the younger crowd in Boston.)

Therefore, there are three words with which I never enunciate the R: margarita, watermelon and drawer.  Mahgarita, watahmelon and drah.

It’s for this reason that I didn’t know how to spell the word “margarita” until I was 17 years old.

That being said, I hope you had as many mahgaritas as my friend Esther and I did, although we were unable to get into the Cactus Club.  Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Urban Dictionary: Define Your World

You’d think that Urban Dictionary would be one of my mortal enemies.  This is a site where anyone can create a word, define it and put it up for review.  It’s like Wikipedia, only it’s for words.

Well, to be honest, I kind of like it.  Even though most of the definitions are crap, it’s very easy to spot the crappy ones.  And some of them are very useful.  In fact, I admit that I actually used the Web site to learn what a number of disgusting sexual expressions actually meant (like a D.S. and a C.S. — but THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY BLOG and I will not go into any further detail than that!).

My friend Lisa added the word crarty, which she coined with some of her classes:

crarty
A combination of the words “crazy” and “party,” denoting a festivity that is beyond the normal party level status.
“We’re having a crarty on Friday night! Get pumped!”

(I love the word and have started using it in my daily speech, though it isn’t exactly conducive to those with Boston accents!)

I decided to add bingo arm, which is currently under review with the editors.  I have to give my co-worker Caroline credit for this.  I was telling her about my recent trip to Foxwoods, when I won $92.50 in a mere six hands of Blackjack, and I told her about playing high stakes bingo.

She then started talking about all the old ladies who play bingo and are fat and have their cellulite shaking everywhere.  I laughed and demonstrated how they would frantically scream and wave their arms whenever someone yelled out, “BINGO!”

“Bingo arm,” Caroline said simply.  I thought it was a common expression until I realized that nobody else knew what I was talking about whenever I mentioned it (like here).

Here’s what I submitted to Urban Dictionary:

bingo arm

A flabby upper arm that jiggles when you raise it and move it around, not unlike the arm of an overweight senior citizen who spends all her free time frantically waving her hand at the bingo table.

“Don’t wave while wearing a short-sleeved shirt or people will see that you have a bad case of bingo arm.”

What do you think?  Love it or lose it?