Is that a question, Jessica?

This is the cover of Jessica Simpson’s new country album.  I could say something, but I’ll leave it to my favorite blogger: Michael K of Dlisted.

Doesn’t the title need a question mark? Wait, I get it. Jessica’s dumb face is the question mark.

LOVE IT!  Here’s the rest of what Michael K wrote.  It’s hilarious, but it’s a tad off-color for this blog.

This is a perfect example of the kind of stuff that irks me.  What does the record company gain from leaving off the question mark? What does Jessica Simpson gain?  Does leaving the question mark off really make the cover better?

I don’t think that it does.  If there are any graphic designers or marketing professionals out there (hell, I’m a marketing professional!) who disagree, please let me know.  I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Dangerous! Disgusting! Man Eating Squid!

I received this hilarious picture from reader Brian, via Universal Hub.

But what is so scary about what lurks behind the sign?

Is it a man-eating squid?  A giant squid that eats men?

Or is it a man eating squid? A huge fat guy shoving forkfuls of calamari into his mouth?

Either scenario is pretty frightening.

And some say that hyphens don’t matter!

Racist Typo

I was reading the Metro on the train this morning when I came across a travel feature on Mystic, Connecticut.  I briefly scanned it — and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Talking about a bar in town, this is how the piece begins:

The bar is rapidly filling up, and soon the air is thick with chatter and the chink of ice on glass.

I knew something wasn’t right.  I had seen that word before, and I was pretty sure it was a racist term.  After double-checking with a few coworkers and Urban Dictionary, I confirmed it.  It is a racist term for a Chinese person or a person of Asian descent.

How could this appear in the paper?!

Clearly, the writer, Linda Laban, was searching for an onomatopoeia of some kind.  Either she originally put in the word clink and an editor changed it, or she thought that the word chink had a good sound to it.  And I in no way think that she or the editors are racist. It looks like an accidental typo.

That being said, where was the editor to find this horrible error and remove it?

We all know that Metro is no stranger to errors — the paper is usually peppered with them.

Even today, there was a great blurb on the front page:

It is predicted that 56 billion people worldwide will be hypertensive by 2025.

At least I can laugh at that one.

The Granny Vandal

Picture it: Random Urban Environment, 2064.

The Grammar Vandal goes out for her morning Red Bull and Earl Grey tea.  She has the skin of a baby’s bottom, considering that by this point, everyone is Botoxed from birth on.  She is also dating a 29-year-old.

She then spies a sign.  Horrified, she confronts the nearest employee:

Old lady: You spelled “candle” wrong.
Employee: What?
Old lady: You spelled “candle” wrong on one of your signs. Give me a piece of paper and I’ll fix it for you.
Employee: It’s okay.
Old lady (getting extremely angry): No, it is not okay. This is inappropriate and you need to fix it.

Thanks to Alexa and OINY!

Overheard Everywhere

Here’s a quote from Overheard Everywhere that I thought you would enjoy:

As You Should Know All Too Well, Cuntrella
Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student: Looks like it’s time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.

High School Classroom
Rhode Island
via Overheard Everywhere, Jun 23, 2008

Thanks to Alexa for blogging it earlier today!

This reminds me of a funny moment in high school. There was a girl (who was hilarious) who would say the word ridic, short for ridiculous, all the time. (This is back before it became more widespread.)

It was mostly unremarkable until she said the following to a math teacher:

“Mr. M, you’re ridic.”

Say it out loud.

To this day, it makes me smile.

Useage in Maine

I often say that I’ve hit a new low.  Here’s a new kind of low:

I took a picture in a bathroom stall.

On an impromptu trip to the fantastic Maine Diner in Wells, Maine (home to the world’s best seafood chowder), I found a major spelling error.

Wow.

It is never useage – it’s always spelled usage.

There’s also no period after sparingly – and the fact that there’s a period after toilet makes it all the more obvious.

This is the kind of sign that is sold in stores.  I wonder how many people have bought a sign like this!

Also, I hate to do it on so weird a post, but I’d love to wish a happy birthday to faithful reader dlipkin!  I hope you have an awesome day!

A Story of W’s

I just discovered this story and I had to share it with you.  Every word begins with the letter W!

The story is called “Walter & Winnie” and it was published in the 19th century by an unknown author.

Here’s how it begins:

“Warm weather, Walter! Welcome warm weather! We were wishing winter would wane, weren’t we?” “We were well wearied with waiting,” whispered Waiter wearily. Wan, white, woe-begone was Walter; wayward, wilful, worn with weakness, wasted, waxing weaker whenever winter’s wild, withering winds were wailing. Wholly without waywardness was Winifred, Walter’s wise, womanly watcher, who, with winsome, wooing way, was well-beloved.

Click here for more, if your eyes and brain can stand it.