Category Archives: Amusing Language

Unfortunately Named Restaurants

My friend Josh sent me the link to these restaurants today, and I laughed so hard at some of them, I knew I had to post them here.

Check them out!

To start, a local business: a Chinese restaurant in Cambridge, Massachusetts!

I will never order from them because of their name.  Who actually wants Pu Pu Hot Pot?  (Besides, whenever I get greasy Chinese food, it’s usually post-clubs at 3:00 AM in Chinatown.)

Cambridge is full of college students — hello, Harvard and MIT! — and I’m sure that so many of them get a kick out of the restaurant’s name that Pu Pu Hot Pot will always stay in business.

Here are a few others:

My dung.

Vagina Tandoori.

No comment.

If this is all you eat, it will happen faster than you think.

Crabby Dick’s.

(My dad is named Dick.  My friends love his name.  He’s not crabby very often, though.)

Here are the rest.  I love them.

Enjoy!

(Also: things have changed SO much over the past few months!  You won’t believe just how much spam I’m getting in my comments!)

But, seriously, I’m grateful to you for all the emails you sent me.  I needed a break, and I’m back.  Just wait until you see the horrible sign around the corner from my office…it is so bad, you guys will LOVE it!

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Card

I received this card from my friend Lisa for Valentine’s Day (along with a tiny Valentine’s Day bottle of Jose Cuervo):

(This isn’t my picture — it came from Facebook’s “Good Grammar is Hot” group — but this was the card.)

I think they have this card for every holiday, including birthdays, but it’s great every time!

To Serve and Correct

I just came across an interesting article in the UK’s Ilkeston Advertiser:

Derbyshire police officers have become the first in Britain to get a new educational booklet, which includes tips on how to spell.

Superintendent Gary Knighton has distributed the Fast Facts for Policing booklet to all 1,800 officers in the county.

It contains multiplication tables and the correct spellings of the days of the week and months of the year.

The differences between source and sauce, whether and weather and two and too are explained. And officers are advised on how to use the 24-hour clock.

Supt Knighton said: “Spellings and terminology are very important in our line of work and accuracy is key when producing official documents. We’re pleased to be the first force to offer people the opportunity to improve their skills in this way and we hope other constabularies will consider distributing the Fast Facts booklet.”

Multiplication tables?  Really?

It sounds a bit ridiculous when you picture cops running down the street, fighting crime while referring to their little books.  (It reminds me of this hilarious Conan O’Brien sketch.  “Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich!  Nooooooooo!”)

Sometimes you have to start with the very basics, the very minimums that help you avoid embarrassment.

Also, keep in mind that if a cop spells a month incorrectly on a speeding ticket, you could probably contest it.

What do you think?

Getting Creative with Thank You Letters

It’s been a few weeks since the holidays, so if you haven’t written your thank you notes yet, now is the time!

Maybe you’d like to get creative with one of these, sent to me from my friend Andy. Britain’s The Magazine and the Society for Editors and Proofreaders had a contest to write a thank you letter that can have two different meanings if you use the same words but change the punctuation.

Here’s my personal favorite (as well as Andy’s):

Dear Aunt Agatha,

Sorry it has taken me so long to write telling you how much I liked your Christmas present this year, only I didn’t have the time. To take it back and get another would be out of the question! I suppose for you to be so kind shouldn’t come as a surprise after what you bought me last year. It was splendid! News about Uncle Brian? Dying to see you again in the New Year. Would be awful to lose touch.

Mark

Dear Aunt Agatha,

Sorry it has taken me so long to write telling you how much I liked your Christmas present this year, only I didn’t. Have the time to take it back and get another? Would be out of the question, I suppose, for you to be so kind. Shouldn’t come as a surprise after what you bought me last year. It was splendid news about Uncle Brian dying. To see you again in the New Year would be awful.

To lose touch,

Mark

Mark Till, Southport, England

I love these! Doesn’t the line about Uncle Brian kill you?

Click here to see the rest. These are five of the best.

The Ten Most Annoying Phrases in the English Language

Compiled by Oxford researchers:

1 – At the end of the day
2 – Fairly unique
3 – I personally
4 – At this moment in time
5 – With all due respect
6 – Absolutely
7 – It’s a nightmare
8 – Shouldn’t of
9 – 24/7
10 – It’s not rocket science

Personally, I’d probably add “ironic” and “ironically” because most of the time they’re used wrong!