Category Archives: Grammar Errors

Would you eat here?

Seen in Koh Chang, Thailand.

I will say that the food was forgettable, but the bathroom was gloriously clean.

 

 

Is “asks” even a word?

I saw this a few weeks ago, and I knew I had to share it with you:

This is from Jessica Simpson’s official Twitter account.

To quote the fabulous Michael K at Dlisted, this hurts my brain.

Some stars create ditzy personas for themselves, when in reality they are quite intelligent.  Take Dolly Parton.  I adore that woman!  She is feisty, daring and very intelligent, and on top of her giant bosom, tiny waist, bleached hair and pounds of makeup, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

Jessica Simpson has always had a ditzy personality, and I have no doubt that she plays it up for the cameras on occasion.  However, unlike Dolly Parton, I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch!

What do you think?

Classy Times and Bad Signs at the Hong Kong

If you’ve been to the Hong Kong in Boston, the Faneuil Hall bar known for its scorpion bowls, karaoke, and wild clientele, you know that it’s not exactly the prime venue for a classy evening.

So that’s why I wasn’t terribly surprised to see this sign there last weekend:

The text:

LOST COAT TAG POLICY

If you loose or can not produce your coat check tag, you must way until the close of business, to claim your belongings.

My reaction:

photo(9)

NOT OKAY!

That’s the last time I go out without my Sharpie.  This picture will have to do for now.  But I plan on returning.

She got what she deserved.

What’s the worst thing that could happen to someone who uses bad grammar?

A low grade on a paper?  A mocking post on this blog?  A scolding from a nearby grammarian?

Oh, it could be worse.  You could find yourself face to face with James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

This is my new favorite entry on my new favorite Web site, fmylife.com:

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, “Your nuts!” She meant, “YOU’RE nuts.” I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

Okay.  We know this guy isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.  Anyone knows you don’t send naked pictures to someone you barely know.  And I’m going to assume that these two people are over the age of 18, because if not, that’s a different issue altogether.  Assuming they both are above the age of consent,

That girl got exactly what she deserved.

She mixed up “your” and “you’re” and thus was blinded with an image of the least attractive part of the male anatomy, an image that will likely stick in her mind for quite a long time.

It’s kind of like shock therapy, don’t you think?

(And, for the record, I feel like I need to say this to clueless straight guys of the world: No girl in her right mind will ever ask you for a picture of your nuts if she wants to be turned on.  ANY other body part is understandable — NEVER the nuts.  If she does, that’s a red flag.  She’ll probably be forwarding it to her friends and laughing at you.)

What do you think?  Did this girl get what she deserved?

Epic Grammar Feud

Wow.  I just discovered an intense feud over grammar between members of the “Good Grammar Is Hot” group on Facebook.

It started with the posting of this picture:

As you can guess, it got a lot of jeers from the members of the group.

Well, it didn’t end there.

Davin joined the conversation.  You can read the whole thing here if you’re on Facebook, but if you’re not, here are some of the highlights:

From Davin:

just because i dont feel as if i need to use perfect grammar in a facebook status u people decide to roast me wow you guys seriously are a bunch of uptight fags but if it makes u feel any better imma english major with perfect grades i just chose to perfect english for class and would rather use slang and or inappropriate use of terms for more social occasions like facebook oh yeah Imma so stab you in your fucking face with a spork for posting this shit u know that right and yes bitches i used u instead of you so bite me on my caramel colored ass

From Luke:

Is there such a thing as a descriptionary? If so I would very much like to get my hands on one, if not it’s a fantastic idea that someone should make millions out of it and give me a copy for my birthday :)

A few quick notes for the angry Davin:

1) The only difference between American English and British English is a few spelling differences, the grammatical structures are identical, otherwise they’d be different languages rather than dialects. The reason we internationals perceive you as speaking (or typing in this case) incorrectly is because you are.

2) Confusing “there’s” for “theirs” and other similar errors are not “slang” as you called it. Colloquialisms are quite different to spelling errors, although one could argue that spellings like “ur” for “you’re” could be counted as textual slang.

3) Gay (or fag in this case) is not a synonym for stupid (or any other derogative term).

4) I get laid regularly, and I still think you’re a dick.

From Davin:

Honestly, thats not my real communication mode i just conform to fit the needs of my surroundings. if im in school or with my friends then i talk like that status. If im in a interview or need to get something done to my liking then i take another tone that many people arent familiar with i just dont see the need to spell out you on facebook when many people if not everyone understands that u is the same thing as you and the people that dont understand that seriously need to get a social life and stop having theirs revolve around people choosing to use slang instead of correct english cause well if u realise that to the english almost all american english is slang

But I think it was David who had the most interesting statement:

My suggestion would be to find a major you really LIKE. It’s inconceivable to me that anyone who really loves English could ever bring himself to write like this, in a social occasion or otherwise, just as I can’t imagine a philosophy major ignoring a specious argument just because he’s at a party or a math major pretending not to notice a mistake on a restaurant check just because he’s out to dinner with friends.

Personally, I don’t believe that Davin is an English major.

If he is, though, then I can’t believe that Davin is an English major, yet takes pride in the fact that he writes so badly.  WHY would anyone DO THAT?

You know me — you know that this blog is about going after the people who make errors in professional writing.  But I thought that this was worth posting.

What do you think?

Another Horrible Tattoo

We have seen lots of bad tattoos on this blog, but I think this one reaches new heights.

Image via Fail Blog.

There is SO MUCH that is wrong with this!

It’s not just the spelling of what I perceive to be the word “jealous,” or the upside-down question mark, or the fact that “Jalous” is capitalized while “are” is not.  But the credit underneath the tattoo?  Who in his or her right mind would get that tattooed on his or her right can?

It’s going to be hard to top this one.

Bill Cosby = Grammar WIN!

Earlier in this blog’s history, I talked about Bill Cosby’s latest book, Come On People.  (I discussed it here and later here.)

Oh, Bill.  Oh, publishing company.  Without the comma, there’s suddenly a LOT of innuendo in this title.  (The cover art doesn’t help, either.)

Well, I was perusing the books at Borders the other day and saw the latest edition of the book:

comeonpeople

They actually added the comma!

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!  It’s so rare that you actually see a company changing its grammar after customer complaints!  (Believe me, there were a lot of complaints.  This book got a lot of press for its missing comma in the title.)

I have to give a shout-out to the book’s publisher, Thomas Nelson.  Well done, Tommy boy.  Very well done.

A Town Without Apostrophes

First of all, thanks to everyone who sent me this story.  It’s become quite a popular news item!

The city of Birmingham, England, has done the unthinkable: they’ve banned apostrophes.

On the streets of Birmingham, the queen’s English is now the queens English.

England’s second-largest city has decided to drop apostrophes from all its street signs, saying they’re confusing and old-fashioned.

But some purists are downright possessive about the punctuation mark.

It seems that Birmingham officials have been taking a hammer to grammar for years, quietly dropping apostrophes from street signs since the 1950s. Through the decades, residents have frequently launched spirited campaigns to restore the missing punctuation to signs denoting such places as “St. Pauls Square” or “Acocks Green.”

This week, the council made it official, saying it was banning the punctuation mark from signs in a bid to end the dispute once and for all.

It hurts my head and heart to read this.

The story goes on to talk about how some of the possessions signified by the apostrophe no longer exist, and that they should not be restored for that reason.  Kings Cross is no longer owned by the king, for example.

Let me say something.

I’ve said it time and time again: I hate it when people take the easy way out when it comes to grammar and spelling.  If everybody did that, can you imagine the state of writing this day?  It’s bad enough as it is!  (Caesars Palace comes to mind yet again…)

We can’t keep dumbing down our society to benefit the uneducated.  If we did that in all aspects of our lives, there would be no more quality literature.  Hell, Rob Schneider movies would be up for Oscars.

Birmingham, I really hope you think about exactly what you’re doing here.

Yeah, I won’t be going there.

I just got back from Vegas.  It was amazing and one of the craziest weekends of my life.  However, I hurt my back — I wish I could say what happened, but it’s NOT meant to be repeated on the Internet — and I need to see a chiropractor.

My chiropractor is wonderful, but he’s up in the suburbs and I no longer have a car, so I had to find a new one.  I did a bit of research and found one right around the corner from my office.  Perfect!  I called to make an appointment.

“–‘s office,” the girl answered.

“Hi,” I said.  “I would be a new patient.  I’m looking to see if you’re taking new patients, and if so, to see–“

“Was you in a accident?”

Whoa.  Whoa.

Was you in a accident?

I kid you not — those were her exact words.

I quickly glossed over the details of the debauchery-induced injury, and she then informed me that I needed a referral.

I called my regular doctor and the receptionist informed me that my health insurance carrier (one of the most common in Massachusetts) doesn’t do referrals for chiropractors — they’re unnecessary.

Well, do you think I called that chiropractor back?  No way.

I was so put off by the girl who answered the phone that I found an entirely new chiropractor.  This one is also right by my office.  I’ll be seeing him tomorrow.

First impressions are everything.  Keep that in mind when you hire someone to answer the phone.

And, just for fun…

We met the glamorous Coco and the awesome Ice-T at XS Nightclub at the Encore!

We met the glamorous Coco and the awesome Ice-T at XS Nightclub at the Encore!

A world of GRAMMATICAL FAIL!

Here are my newest favorites from the Fail Blog:

Grammar Hilarity

The following pictures are the latest and greatest of the “Good Grammar Is Hot” group on Facebook:

And the greatest picture of all:

I give much kudos for the members of the group for posting these fabulous pictures.

Also…

Some of you guessed.  Some of you are correct.

My big Thankgiving trip is a solo trip to Buenos Aires!  It’s my first trip entirely alone and my first trip to South America.  I’m so excited!  :-)

We’ve got another one!

I’m still trying to recover from the atrocity from last winter.

Now, we’ve got another film with a grammatically incorrect title:

What Just Happened

I have to admit, it’s got a fantastic cast.  Robert DeNiro, Catherine Keener, Stanley Tucci, Bruce Willis…(unlike most, I won’t include Sean Penn because I’m still miffed that he stole Bill Murray’s Oscar for Lost in Translation).

But COME ON!

Where is the question mark?

Is that little award thing to the right of the title supposed to be a question mark?

What does the movie get out of omitting punctuation in the title? A cleaner-looking title (much like Dirty Sexy Money)?

Will the movie rake in more money without the question mark?

Your thoughts, please.

Online Dating and Bad Grammar

I know that this entry is probably going to piss a lot of you off, but I’m going to be honest.  And I think it’s relevant.

I’m a member of an online dating site.  (One reader of this blog actually found me on there!)  Personally, I don’t think I’ll have time to go on another date until well after the election, but I keep my profile on there, just in case.

I received an odd message from a guy today.  Here are a few excerpts:

“your in my [list of matches] and what not, I feel somewhat compelled to “accept” you rather then reject you like the previous 15.”

“Anyway, if you like to “drop it like its hot” or “get low” then your in luck cause i do 2 and so far no one has been able to drop it lower then me (Shorty gets quite low)”

“have a good night
oh and if i didn’t mention it, i think your hot

[Name]“

Now –

I’m not going to reject a potential suitor based on poor grammar and/or spelling alone.

I’ve dated my fair share of guys who couldn’t write anything to save their lives.  And some of those relationships were the most significant relationships of my life so far.

But on an online dating site, when a message to somebody serves as the best way to make a good first impression, why would a guy write so badly?

Would you have bad grammar and spelling in a cover letter?  In a resume? Then why would you on a dating site?

I think that a message so full of errors — written by a college graduate (so his profile claims) — shows that he doesn’t care about making a good first impression.  He doesn’t care about taking the time to write “you’re” instead of “your,” among other things.  Come on.  That is the MINIMUM.  Everyone knows the difference.

I wouldn’t have gone out with this guy anyway — he’s not my type.  But this email more than sealed the deal.

I replied to him:

Hi, [Name] –

Thanks for the message.  I don’t think that we would be a good match, but you deserve a reply, and I wish you the best of luck!

Kate

Unleash your fury.  Call me a snob or an asshole.  I don’t care.  But do any of you feel this way?