Category Archives: Web

She got what she deserved.

What’s the worst thing that could happen to someone who uses bad grammar?

A low grade on a paper?  A mocking post on this blog?  A scolding from a nearby grammarian?

Oh, it could be worse.  You could find yourself face to face with James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

This is my new favorite entry on my new favorite Web site, fmylife.com:

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, “Your nuts!” She meant, “YOU’RE nuts.” I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

Okay.  We know this guy isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.  Anyone knows you don’t send naked pictures to someone you barely know.  And I’m going to assume that these two people are over the age of 18, because if not, that’s a different issue altogether.  Assuming they both are above the age of consent,

That girl got exactly what she deserved.

She mixed up “your” and “you’re” and thus was blinded with an image of the least attractive part of the male anatomy, an image that will likely stick in her mind for quite a long time.

It’s kind of like shock therapy, don’t you think?

(And, for the record, I feel like I need to say this to clueless straight guys of the world: No girl in her right mind will ever ask you for a picture of your nuts if she wants to be turned on.  ANY other body part is understandable — NEVER the nuts.  If she does, that’s a red flag.  She’ll probably be forwarding it to her friends and laughing at you.)

What do you think?  Did this girl get what she deserved?

Online Dating and Bad Grammar

I know that this entry is probably going to piss a lot of you off, but I’m going to be honest.  And I think it’s relevant.

I’m a member of an online dating site.  (One reader of this blog actually found me on there!)  Personally, I don’t think I’ll have time to go on another date until well after the election, but I keep my profile on there, just in case.

I received an odd message from a guy today.  Here are a few excerpts:

“your in my [list of matches] and what not, I feel somewhat compelled to “accept” you rather then reject you like the previous 15.”

“Anyway, if you like to “drop it like its hot” or “get low” then your in luck cause i do 2 and so far no one has been able to drop it lower then me (Shorty gets quite low)”

“have a good night
oh and if i didn’t mention it, i think your hot

[Name]”

Now –

I’m not going to reject a potential suitor based on poor grammar and/or spelling alone.

I’ve dated my fair share of guys who couldn’t write anything to save their lives.  And some of those relationships were the most significant relationships of my life so far.

But on an online dating site, when a message to somebody serves as the best way to make a good first impression, why would a guy write so badly?

Would you have bad grammar and spelling in a cover letter?  In a resume? Then why would you on a dating site?

I think that a message so full of errors — written by a college graduate (so his profile claims) — shows that he doesn’t care about making a good first impression.  He doesn’t care about taking the time to write “you’re” instead of “your,” among other things.  Come on.  That is the MINIMUM.  Everyone knows the difference.

I wouldn’t have gone out with this guy anyway — he’s not my type.  But this email more than sealed the deal.

I replied to him:

Hi, [Name] –

Thanks for the message.  I don’t think that we would be a good match, but you deserve a reply, and I wish you the best of luck!

Kate

Unleash your fury.  Call me a snob or an asshole.  I don’t care.  But do any of you feel this way?

The Absolute Language Test

I was perusing the tests on OkCupid tonight and came across one I hadn’t yet seen: The Absolute Language Test.

There are plenty of language tests I’ve taken before, like The Commonly Confused Words Test and The Could You Win the National Spelling Bee Test.  While they’re fun, they’re also easy.

But this test is crazy.

It not only tests you on the English language, it also moves into French, Japanese, Norwegian, Farsi and even cuneiform and hieroglyphics!  It’s a great workout for your brain because it gets you out of your comfort zone and makes you think creatively.

You have to try it out.

Try it here!

(For the record, I scored 65% eloquent, 62% well-versed, 26% so-so, 19% amateur and 10% ignoramus.)

Please tell me this is some kind of sick joke.

I’ve become a big fan of the Bumper Sticker application on Facebook.  With this application, you can send “stickers” to your friends, and they end up displayed on their profiles.  (And thanks to those of you who have already sent me grammar-oriented stickers!)

Of course, since most of them are homemade, they’re often filled with errors.  I’ve come to expect that.

And then I saw this one:

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Are we serious here?  Are we really, truly serious?

Or is this some kind of elaborate joke?  Is the joke that there are so many errors in it, on purpose, that this is the ultimate “gotcha” by the creator?

If it were a joke to those of us in the know, then I would gladly add this sticker to my profile.

For now, though, it’s staying far, far away.

Tell me — do you think that this was done on purpose to joke about people with bad spelling and grammar?

Or do you think that the creator was serious and just made the mistakes without thinking?

I can’t even tell!

A nice glass of “ice tea”

You know, sometimes I think that I’ll never find another pet peeve.  Then I end up searching lowes.com for an ice maker (don’t ask).  While searching for ice makers, here is what popped up instead:

iceteamaker.jpg

Ooh, I hate it when people call it ice tea.  It is not simply tea made of ice — it is tea that has had been iced and therefore iced tea.

At times, it seems like more people are saying ice tea than iced tea, at least up here in the northeast.  (I’m pretty sure that sweet tea is the term preferred in the southern and midwestern states.)

The fact that either Lowes or the manufacturers spelled this wrong only perpetuates this myth.

Have you noticed this?

The German Grammar Vandal

I’m very happy to post this next entry.

One of my readers, Christina — better known in the comments as “junior alien” — has been reading this blog for quite some time.  She is from Germany and she’s a fan of the English language, especially of the errors found in advertisements and street signs.

So, what did she do?

She started the German version of The Grammar Vandal — Sprachvandali.  Check it out!

I know a little German — and he’s sitting over there!  Badum-ching!

Seriously, though, even after living with a German girl for almost a year and traveling to the Jungfrau region of Switzerland, my German is limited to danke schoen, prost and lederhosen.  (Thank you very much, cheers and funny traditional German garb for men.)

Check it out!

Thanks to Christina for reading my site and being lovely enough to create her own grammar blog!

Single ladies!

Are you single?  Female?  In Boston?  Looking for a guy around the age of 26?

You may be in luck.  And from the looks of his quotation marks, he may be British, too!