One of my coworkers has been telling me that I have to go to Porter Square to get a picture of the “FOR MASON’S ONLY” sign in the parking lot next to the Masonic Temple. I haven’t spent much time in Porter, other than doing my grocery shopping at Shaw’s, so I decided to walk the mile or so home.
And, as always, I was shocked by the sheer number of incorrect signs I saw on the way home!
So. The parking is for mason’s only. Who is this Mason? I’m picturing a college-aged guy from Long Island with a Maserati his parents bought for him on his sixteenth birthday. (I don’t even know what a Maserati looks like — it sounds right.)
At any rate, Mason’s parents have so much money that they throw at anyone at the slightest hint of his behavioral problems, including at the people who run this parking lot. Mason will freak out if he has to park his beloved Maserati in a toll spot! God forbid!
Therefore, this parking spot has been marked for Mason’s Maserati only, or for any other car that he may be driving that day. It’s for Mason’s only.
Seriously, though, COME ON! If something is written in the plural form, that does NOT warrant an apostrophe!!
Apostrophes are for showing posession. They are NOT for showing plurals.
–For Masons Only
–Mason Parking Only
–Masons’ Spots Only
The sign in front of the bar reads, “This bar is wicked COOL! Thanks to our new AC system!”
I’m loving that I get to use something with the word “wicked” in it — that’s one of Boston’s most beloved words!
However, “Thanks to our new AC system!” is not a complete sentence. It’s not strong enough to stand on its own.
The sentence could be joined together, and that would have been the best solution. This bar is wicked cool, thanks to our new AC system!
There are a few other possibilities, like, This bar is wicked cool! Thanks, new AC system! Of course, that sounds a bit strange, a bit overeager, and more than a bit out of place in front of a bar.
This one is a bit tough to see. The sign reads, “SIX PAKS.”
Come on. Is it so tough to spell the word “packs” correctly? Ideally, it should read six-packs.
If you’re going to change the spelling for cutesy reasons, at least have some kind of reason behind it. Although I prefer most words written in their natural and full form, I can see why someone would want to write six pax. They’re each three letters, consonant-vowel-x. It looks cute.
Then why would you just drop a letter and go to six paks?! Come on!
A little punctuation would be nice.
VANDALISM! HAHAHA!! I vandalized this sign a bit. It’s hard to tell. There wasn’t a single apostrophe on the entire sign. Did they not have the key on the keyboard? Had the key ripped right off after a long night of drunken emailing?
The world will never know.
I had my Sharpie in my purse, so I added apostrophes following the words abutters and owners, and before the S in Phils. The parking belongs to the abutters; the expense is that of the owners, and I’m sure the company is run by a guy named Phil.
I did debate over this in my head, however. Should it be owners’ expense or owner’s expense? If we’re talking about the owner of a car, it’s singular. However, if we’re talking about several people parking illegally, then it should be plural. In fact, I almost changed it, then realized that Sharpie didn’t wipe off and there was a guy driving a car with “Constable” written on the side.
What do you think?
Thanks to Spence for the suggestion.