Grammar Errors in Las Vegas

Guest post written by Jessica Flynn.

I love Las Vegas, and there’s no better way to get a look at a cross-section of America. You’ll find groups of cowboys – complete with ten-gallon hats – on their bachelor parties, Chinese-American billionaires in sunglasses and $10,000 suits, and various groups of toothless hooligans from just about any state below the Mason-Dixon line.

When you arrive on your jet charter Las Vegas may be the only thing on your mind — until something jerks you out of your trance:

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Yes, it’s nice to get to your nice hotel and find that a whole slew of punctuation is missing from your hotel.

If bad grammar, bad spelling, or a lack of punctuation is enough to send you packing, check out a nearby budget hotel instead. Like the Days Inn.

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Well, it IS Las Vegas. I guess technically you could end up with a free wife in your hotel room…

Who am I kidding. I wouldn’t even make it to the Contl Breakfast.

At this point, I would leave my hotel room and just hope some random stranger I meet at the craps table lets me crash in his room.

Next up: trying some of Las Vegas’s most famous food. And if you’ve already blown your money at the slot machines, at the strip clubs, or at a special table at a club before you learn that bottle service actually costs $500 per bottle, you won’t be able to afford the treasures of Alize at the top of the Palms or SW Steakhouse at the Wynn. By that point, you’re probably past Tao at the Venetian or any of Wolfgang Puck’s restaurants dotting the Strip.

By this point, it’s time to head for the street food.

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NO. Please, no. I don’t want my PIE’S. I want my PIES. The former leaves me waiting, yearning for something that my pies have! WHAT DO MY PIES HAVE?!

By this point, you’ll be heading for a nervous breakdown. And it might be time to memorialize your epic trip to Las Vegas with a tattoo. I hear there’s a cool tattoo shop at the Palms. Or you could head to downtown Las Vegas.

You’re a wreck. You’ve seen so many Vegas grammar mistakes since the arrival of your flight that you haven’t been able to regain control of yourself.

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It’s get better? It has a get better?

No, it does not get better. This has officially been the Las Vegas trip from hell.

 

 

Would you eat here?

Seen in Koh Chang, Thailand.

I will say that the food was forgettable, but the bathroom was gloriously clean.

 

 

Is “asks” even a word?

I saw this a few weeks ago, and I knew I had to share it with you:

This is from Jessica Simpson’s official Twitter account.

To quote the fabulous Michael K at Dlisted, this hurts my brain.

Some stars create ditzy personas for themselves, when in reality they are quite intelligent.  Take Dolly Parton.  I adore that woman!  She is feisty, daring and very intelligent, and on top of her giant bosom, tiny waist, bleached hair and pounds of makeup, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

Jessica Simpson has always had a ditzy personality, and I have no doubt that she plays it up for the cameras on occasion.  However, unlike Dolly Parton, I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch!

What do you think?

Justice shall be served!

This blog CAN make a difference.

Check out the email I just received from a friend from high school:

Hi Kate,

As you may or may not know, I am a technical writer. I showed your blog to my coworker (she thinks it’s hilarious), who showed it to another employee of our firm. This employee works weekends as a bartender at the Hong Kong and he emailed a link to the Grammar Vandal Hong Kong blog entry to the owner of the restaurant. Hopefully the sign will be fixed soon!

Best regards,
Becky

Amazing!

Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you can’t change the world!

Classy Times and Bad Signs at the Hong Kong

If you’ve been to the Hong Kong in Boston, the Faneuil Hall bar known for its scorpion bowls, karaoke, and wild clientele, you know that it’s not exactly the prime venue for a classy evening.

So that’s why I wasn’t terribly surprised to see this sign there last weekend:

The text:

LOST COAT TAG POLICY

If you loose or can not produce your coat check tag, you must way until the close of business, to claim your belongings.

My reaction:

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NOT OKAY!

That’s the last time I go out without my Sharpie.  This picture will have to do for now.  But I plan on returning.

Send to the Grammer Vandal

I LOVE Random House.  They are kind enough to send me grammar and language books from time to time, and some of them are very funny and entertaining.  I will be posting a review on the first shortly.

But you have to admit…in the latest package they sent me, this was a bit odd:

grammervandal

I found it funny enough that they didn’t even put my actual name on the address.  (My coworkers, some of whom simply call me Vandal, were amused as well.)   But the GRAMMER vandal?!

Eh.  They send me books.  I still love them.

Unfortunately Named Restaurants

My friend Josh sent me the link to these restaurants today, and I laughed so hard at some of them, I knew I had to post them here.

Check them out!

To start, a local business: a Chinese restaurant in Cambridge, Massachusetts!

I will never order from them because of their name.  Who actually wants Pu Pu Hot Pot?  (Besides, whenever I get greasy Chinese food, it’s usually post-clubs at 3:00 AM in Chinatown.)

Cambridge is full of college students — hello, Harvard and MIT! — and I’m sure that so many of them get a kick out of the restaurant’s name that Pu Pu Hot Pot will always stay in business.

Here are a few others:

My dung.

Vagina Tandoori.

No comment.

If this is all you eat, it will happen faster than you think.

Crabby Dick’s.

(My dad is named Dick.  My friends love his name.  He’s not crabby very often, though.)

Here are the rest.  I love them.

Enjoy!

(Also: things have changed SO much over the past few months!  You won’t believe just how much spam I’m getting in my comments!)

But, seriously, I’m grateful to you for all the emails you sent me.  I needed a break, and I’m back.  Just wait until you see the horrible sign around the corner from my office…it is so bad, you guys will LOVE it!